Monday, December 24, 2007

The CRUD Take 3

So what Pete failed to mention in the earlier blog - is that I too was ill -- so Take 3:

Twas the Eve of Christmas Eve and we weren't so well,
Everywhere we went was a terrible smell.
When we were nestled all snug in our beds,
Pete started dancing straight to the head;
From under the door there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what as the matter.
The smell was so horrible it hit with a flash,
I tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
When the odor finally slowed
I walked back in and looked below
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
My darling husband looking scared like a baby deer
With a little air freshener to spray real quick,
I knew in a moment he must have gotten sick.
More rapid than eagles his curses they came,
"Damn that evil woman" as he called my mom by name;
So on Cupid on Comet and everywhere we went there were piles of Vomit.


Tuba, or not tuba ... that is the question said...

So all three of you were sick? That stinks - literally and figuratively!

andsozyouroldman said...

Christmas Crud 4
On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me

As we sat down to eat our goose dinner by the lights of the tree

"I don't feel like eating the goose, the stuffing or the pearl onions in a bowl,
I don't even feel like eating the green bean casserole"

"What's wrong?" I said, to my true love, the one I adore

Before she could answer, I said, "Oh no, Christmas Crud 4"

But I ate the goose, the stuffing, the onions, and a crescent roll

I even had a second helping of green bean casserole

In fact I cleaned everything up on my plate

Before I realized what was happening it was already too late

On my true love the Crud hadn't yet taken its toll

And I was already hugging the porcelain bowl

Before we could say, "Mr. Claus -- see ya"

My true love was overcome with bad nausea

But because I had eaten the goose and onions of pearl

By the time the night was over I was up five times to hurl

My true love who, of course, is much more dainty and nice

Arose much more quietly and discreetly to puke once or twice

But we're much better now and we're feeling more jolly

And we want to proclaim Merry Christmas, by golly

We've even had time to write down this chorus:
"Merry Christmas to all
And especially to Doris!"

Anonymous said...

Christmas Crud #1
I was so happy to see my family that I felt like sharing be it ever so canny.
We went to lunch the first day of their arrival but I had to depart for the local privy. Now how sharing is nice and expected of family this was a surprise that I wanted only for myself. I escaped to my home to lock myself in my room only to find that this had followed be in.
It had been almost a year since I had seen my Grandson and I didn't want him to catch me showing my bum. As for the first three days that they were at my house My head was in the toilet and my bum in the air. So if you think that this was a conspiracy to make you all sick just remember that as family we all have to stick. Be it through good times or bad we all have to share so Tom it is your turn to show that you care.

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